Knock, Knock...Who's There?

Knock knock…”Who's there?” whispers Winter to Bianca. A few moments pass, then another… knock knock …”Seriously, who the hell is there?” quietly shrieks Winter. “Shhhhhh” Bianca hushes as she motions to Winter to remain still. The mysterious someone knocks on the front door yet again, and this time precedes to rings the bell, and shout "Helloooooo!" We look at each other with terror and do the only sensible thing that two single girls who aren’t expecting guests do…we run and hide. Now we aren’t exactly sure how this all started, but what we do know is that we don’t answer the door to surprise visitors.


We have a lot of memories with what’s behind the front door: One from our dear friend Tammy "breaking" into our apartment at 2AM only to find Bianca panicked and holding a paring knife and Winter bewildered with fists up and ready to start doing some serious Turbo Kickboxing damage to the intruder (those flashy aerobic classes have taught us some mad skills)…another from our friendly neighbor delivering dinner….and others from when one of us have locked ourselves out of the house (yes it’s true, not only do our friends lock us out of their houses…sorry Big Booty Judy- guilty as charged, but we lock ourselves out too.)

So here’s the usual rundown: (1) Doorbell rings, (2) We mute the TV, (3) We run quickly and quietly to the stairs, (4) We look out Bianca's bedroom window to see if the top of the person's head looks familiar, and (5) We begin analyzing who it could be.

“Is it Pete? He did text me earlier today,” Bianca says….”but it doesn't seem like him to just stop by.” “Maybe it’s Matt (our friendly postal worker neighbor)” – says Winter, “he sometimes brings us our packages when we’re too scared to open the door for the FedEx guy.” “Maybe it’s the damn consensus people again, they’ve left a note on our door 4 times now” sighs Bianca. This banter goes on until the door stops ringing, the visitor leaves…and the mystery guests almost always remains unknown.

This technique though silly, has kept the mass murders, rapists and psychos of Huntington Beach at bay, however it does back fire on occasion. For example a few weekends ago Winter had to get up early and take her car into the dealership. Now we had been out late the night before drinking and dancing our lives away, so Winter shot up out of bed like a pop tart when she realized she had overslept and was late for the appointment. She threw some clothes on and rushed out the door. Winter wore sneakers and decided a walk home wouldn't hurt her as the dealership isn’t far. As Winter began her walk home she realized she didn’t have her house key, but Bianca was at home asleep so she could just call and wake her up. Sh*t no phone…bit of a wrinkle in the plan, but no problem, there’s always the door bell and she knows her BFF is a light sleeper so waking her will be an easy task. WRONG.

With all the contraptions that Bianca uses to sleep, including but not limited to: eye masks, a sound machine, and lavender spray; she couldn’t hear the doorbell. Winter then began throwing rocks at her window, ringing the doorbell and then scurrying up against the gate so Bianca would see her and realize it was her and not a Huntington Beach molester on the loose. She attempted this several times, and soon became exhausted and defeated.

Winter sat down on the stairs and after a half hour of lounging on the front porch, she wrote a note on the back of her receipt from the car dealership and slid it under the door. It read: “Dear Bianca, please open the door. If you’re missing your BFF she’s locked out and on the porch- has to pee and is quite hungry. Sincerely Winter”

Winter began to play songs with the ringing of the doorbell and alternated it with loud thugging knocks. Eventually Bianca, stumbled out of her room, looked across the hall and found Winter's bed empty. She walked down stairs, opened the front door, and peered down at Winter laying on the cement. “What the hell are you doing?” asked Bianca.

“Backfire”, Winter thought to herself. Maybe next time the doorbell rings she’ll just look through the peep hole and see who it is…NAH…that would take the fun out of it.

Call or Text before dropping by,
Bianca and Winter